Coaches and Money: An Opportunity for Growth
by Carolyn Freyer-Jones, M.A.
Here's one thing I can say with full certainty:
Yes, you CAN do well as a coach AND have money fears.
Here's another thing I can say with full certainty:
Getting your relationship to money more cleaned up and handled will make you a FAR better business owner and coach.
Here's how I used to relate to money:
Avoidance!
I figured if I didn't look, listen, or SAY ANYTHING about money or to money all would be well. . . or it wouldn't, and I wouldn't know anyway. My basic premise was, "LA LA LA LA LA YOU AREN'T HERE I DON'T NEED TO LOOK AT YOU."
I pretended it didn't exist. I was afraid of it and all things related to it – taxes, managing bank accounts, setting up tracking, EVERYTHING.
The irony here is my dad was a banker and financial advisor . . .
I'm sure he loved knowing I was (basically) financially illiterate until I was in my late 30's. The good news is as I became more willing to focus on money, clean up my money stories with the help of my coach Steve Chandler, and learn how to make more of it, he could be proud that I made excellent money as a professional coach. By the time he died, he'd known for some time that I was 100% ok – he was not concerned about my financial life one iota . . .and that makes me very happy.
Maybe your relationship to money is different?
The Volatile Partner
Maybe you treat money like a lousy romantic partner, you get mad at it when it doesn't show up for you, you stomp your feet and yell, and then when it is there, you are thrilled, and you spend it all on fancy dates and things. Then you repeat.
The Distant Partner
Or – maybe you are the lousy partner, who ignores money and simultaneously hordes it, never takes it out, only buys things you absolutely need, never anything you want.
Maybe you treat money as purely transactional
Maybe you treat money as purely transactional – i.e. you do this, and I'll do that. There is nothing more, nothing less.
Whatever it is, there's room for growth – because the moment we are setting fees as a new coach (or raising our fees as a more established coach), or offering a larger proposal to a corporate client, our money "stuff" appears in our thinking and our conversations.
11 Phrases Coaches Say or Think Regularly Regarding Money:
1
I'm afraid to share fees with a potential client – I'd rather just not have to discuss money at all, it's SO uncomfortable.
2
If I raise my fees my people might go away – I'd rather keep my fees lower and know for sure I'll have clients (even though I'm working with as many people as I can and I'm not at the earning level I'd like to be at/need to be at to make my life work well).
3
This organization can't afford me/coaching/won't like my fees.
4
I'm outraged at these coaches who charge high fees – it's disgusting, we shouldn't ever charge so much. And yes, I know I'm in judgement.
5
I lowered my fees 3 times and I offered an easy payment plan. Now I'm resentful, I'm almost doing it for free.
6
Coaching should be free – charging for transformation feels very wrong.
7
Nobody has said yes in the last 10-15 conversations . . .and I'm not lowering my fee.
8
There must be an easier way to make money. This profession is hard and I'M NEVER GOING TO GET OUT OF DEBT.
9
You are going to pay little ol' ME?
10
I don't like it when someone says that they can't afford my fee.
11
I enrolled 3 clients and I'm afraid this is all a fluke and there's no way I can earn a living with this fee. How can I raise it when I just started?
There are probably another 11 statements coaches make regularly about money – and you get where I'm going here.
Noisy Thinking
We need to get our thinking about money quieter and more relaxed. When we are anxious about money, about the current state of our bank account, whether or not someone is going to pay us, or wondering if we are going to survive, we are not at our best.
And when we aren't at our best, and we are focused on our own money stuff, we aren't serving. We aren't making a difference, and we are generally not able to be present with the person in front of us.
The Path to a Relaxed and Productive Relationship with Money (and more clients)
It's like the game Candyland, only different.
Your relationship with money may be like Molasses Swamp – and YOU can get out!
Four Steps to Take:
01
Ease the Financial Pressure
If you don't have enough money to pay your rent or mortgage for 3 months, don't attempt to ONLY make money as a coach. For most of us this is STRESSFUL and it will leak into our conversations. People will feel it and likely not hire us (nobody ever says, "The coach I met with seemed stressed – they were sweating and picking at their nails so I hired them!") Is it true that some people can tolerate $20 in their bank account and still show up relaxed and present and serve beautifully without attachment? Yes. If this is you, great – and for the rest of you don't make this a requirement. Get a part time job, take out a loan, do something to ease the financial pressure so you can show up relaxed and present when you are in conversation.
02
Feelings Are Not Facts
Consider that anything you feel regarding money is not a fact – it's a feeling, and feelings are NOT facts. Required reading for all coaches in the CFJ Coaching Success School is, "Overcoming Underearning" by Barbara Stanny. The requirement is to read it whether you have read it before OR not, and for coaches who return to the school (~50% return each year) they re-read it. If you haven't read it, get this book NOW. Read it, with an agreement that you'll do all the exercises in the back of each chapter (FYI – even if you are earning the income you want to be earning you can be an underearner – we can be underearners at $500k or $2 million – because underearning is a mindset; it's not about the number). This book is not for the faint of heart if you do the exercises – and it's a gamechanger.
03
Learn About Your Clients' Relationships to Money
LOOK at getting a handle on your relationship to money as a way to learn about your clients' relationships to money. Your clients are going to want you to help them with how they relate to money – so you better get going on this for yourself. Your judgements about people who you perceive "make a lot of money" or "spend frivolously" or "don't deserve the money they have" all need to get cleaned out. Your fears of making money and who you might become with more, or your fears of not ever having enough, need to get brought into the light of day and dissolved with compassion. If we judge those who make money as "bad" or "capitalist pigs" it's going to get in the way of our ability to earn a good living, and if we are in the limiting belief that "poor is pure" this will impact our ability to thrive financially.
04
Put Money in Its Rightful Place
Ultimately you want to put money in its rightful place. It's not good or bad, evil or nirvana. It's a tool – and when we clear up our relationship to money four things tend to occur:
  • We earn more money.
  • We are clear that it's about the WORK. Meaning . . .it's about the value of a transformed life, a transformed relationship with one's child/spouse/boss, the value of becoming a stronger, more effective leader who can make a bigger impact inside an organization.
  • We are less attached to money in general – it's no longer an indicator of our worth and value (because our worth and value is infinite, no amount of money can ever come close to our true worth and value).
  • We give more money to those around us and to causes that speak to our hearts – helping our loved ones, our communities, and more.
Make it a Priority
Our relationship to money is one of the most valuable sources of growth and learning.
It's a critical area for business owners to get conscious about. Don't wait. Make it a priority NOW to clean up your relationship with money.
Carolyn Freyer-Jones
Carolyn Freyer-Jones, M.A. is a seasoned coach, facilitator, and speaker with over 20 years of experience supporting corporate executives, entrepreneurs, and service professionals. She is the founder and co-lead faculty of the CFJ Coaching Success School, where she supports coaches in mastering client acquisition through service and authentic enrollment.
Carolyn has supported clients in launching businesses, transforming careers, strengthening relationships, and creating greater fulfillment and impact, with many experiencing significant income growth. A long-time champion of women, she has co-facilitated powerful women’s coaching groups and helped develop the University of Santa Monica’s Soul-Centered Professional Coaching Program. Grounded in Spiritual Psychology, Carolyn brings heart, clarity, and practical wisdom to her work and life.
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